Leaving DA... why?

No I’m not pulling your leg. I am leaving this website for a number of reasons, but before I list those reasons, I should explain my lack of activity for the past three weeks.

Nearly three weeks ago on a Sunday, I came home after visiting a close friend. I had dinner with my family and after that I went online to check my emails. As I skimmed through the spam I spotted a familiar email address. I opened up the email and was hit by the terrible news it contained. A friend of mine was run over by a car. She died instantly. Her name was Katie, but her friends often called her K-Chan. The email was from her younger brother who I knew almost as well as I knew his sister. I’ve known her for years and she was one of the first Internet friends I befriended before I started joining art websites like this one. I met her on a forum (I think it was DBZ related) and from there we emailed each other once a week. As time passed our weekly catch-up turned into a monthly catch-up. It wasn’t that we weren’t getting along; it was the fact that both of us were busy with growing up and getting ready for college. Around mid 2007 we lost contact. But then last year in December, I got an email from Katie on my AOL account. She was going through her contacts and was curious to see how I was doing. We exchanged emails throughout the week, telling each other about our highs and lows. The last email I got from her was a day before Christmas. I got caught up in the preparations for the season and of course I didn’t return to DA until mid January. Even if I did email her at point, I would not of gotten a reply. She was killed on the 14th.

I don’t think I need to (or can) describe how hard this news hit me. I just can’t believe somebody so young and so full of potential could be taken away just like that. And to make things worse for her family, the person driving the car that ran her over has still not been found. Nor has the car for that matter. From what I can make out from what her brother has told me, the police don’t seem to be doing much to find the person who killed her. He doesn’t even know if the person who ran her over was somebody he knew or a stranger. I can’t even imagine what Katie’s family is going through right now. I feel terrible that all can do is offer my condolences. I just wish I talked to her more often and even took up an opportunity to meet her in person. I still can’t take in the news. I just can’t believe it. I’m sorry Katie; I wish I were there for you more often. May you rest in peace…

For a week I pretty much did nothing. I couldn’t focus on anything and my emotions were pretty much all over the place. I made things a little harder on myself by not seeking comfort in my mother. But she was having a good week. She met up with a guy she liked and she was very happy. She was happier than she’s ever been in the past two years. I didn’t want to drag her down with my news. I waited until the end of the week to tell her. She said she thought something was up with me but didn’t want to ask in case I wasn’t ready to talk about it. After that things I would normally consider minor started to bother me greatly. It felt like all these things were piling on top of me and it also felt like some people were getting on my back. I needed to cut off contact with people online and focus on more on things that were bothering me. I had to… I was hitting rock bottom.

At that moment I was feeling at my lowest. I was being hit with one problem after another and to make things worse I was close to being completely broke. Luckily I got a surprise and came into a decent amount of money. It may not seem like much to some people, but to me it was a lifesaver. For those of you wondering what it was, it was the bonds my mother set up years ago. They stop earning interest on my 21st birthday and the money was put into my bank account. I completely forgot about that. I also got rid of that damn virus but sadly had to reformat the laptop. Guess where the virus came from. Deviantart. I’m not joking. And now that I think about it, every time I got the virus while web browsing, I was on DA. I shouldn’t be surprised. This website is full of pop-ups, disgusting ads and many other things that can damage your computer. That sort of gives me another reason to leave this site.

Speaking of leaving, I better give my reasons. I’m bored and tired. Those are the main reasons. I’ve been on this site for years (I had another account before this one) and I have made some great friends here, but it is time I moved on and explored the other corners of the virtual world. I’ve also found something I can work on where as before I just drew random pictures with no purpose. I’m going into the e-comic business. Thanks to searching in the right places I’ve come across some new contacts that can help me get into the comic industry. One of these new contacts advised me to try doing e-comics first. Of course I already had plans to go down that road. I’ve found a site to host my comics too. Another thing is I’ve hardly improved art-wise over the years. Yes there has been some improvement, but not nearly as much as I wanted. I came to the site to seek advice and constructive comments. In the seven years (Jesus, that went fast) I’ve been here I’ve only received a couple of constructive comments when I needed it. I’m not kidding. This site is lazy, slow and (in my opinion) is going nowhere. I’ll end up the same if I continue to browse here. Seven years is long enough. I want out. I want a change of scene. I’m sure you can’t blame me for wanting that… right?

So what site is going to be my new regular haunt? At the moment it is blogspot. I’m going to set up a blog for Demon Sheep studio and use my Drawn into Dismay blog for my videos and whatnot. Also, best thing about blogspot is that you can enable comment administration. You can filter out spam comments and whatnot. Where as on here, it doesn’t matter if you block somebody who is getting on your nerves. And getting them banned does nothing either. They’ll just make a new account to pester you with anyway. I can’t be bothered to deal with anybody who wants to start a war with me over nothing anymore. Keep your hissyfit to yourself. I have enough trouble dealing with my own. Ta very much. Ok that’s the serious bit out the way, moving on.

So for the rest of the week I’ll be deleting some of my gallery. I’m only going to leave the stuff I’ve drawn for people so if anyone wants to save their gifts, they can do so. If for some crazy reason any of you want to save some of my original artwork, do so now because I’ll be deleting it shortly. Oh and PLEASE DON’T SEND ME ANY NOTES, because I won’t be reading them as I’ll be contacting my close friends via note myself to give them my new email. The email I’ve had displayed on my front page is still for business use only. So don’t send emails to that address. I’ll ignore them and if you persist I’ll block your email. You disrespect my wishes; I disrespect your right to free speech. Simples (I can’t believe I quoted an annoying meerkat).

To the two guys I owe commissions to, I’m sorry for making you wait. I got one comic commission done, but the other commission I’m only halfway through (after Katie’s death I couldn’t focus on it, sorry). I might start that one over because I’ve noticed I’ve messed up on one or two details. I’ll have to dig out the description for that one too. Both of you will be getting a discount for your troubles. I hope we can still do business.

As for any other things I was going to do for people on this site, I’m sorry but I’m not going to finish them. Have a go at me if it makes you feel better, but quite frankly, I’ve passed caring. I have a feeling even if I did finish those projects; my effort would not have been appreciated. Another thing about people on DA… they don’t really see artists as people. They see them as tools. Well this “tool” is taking her business elsewhere much to your delight. Urgh, that came off as a bit bitchy, but hey, you can’t blame me. I’m sure a lot of fellow artists here can understand what I was getting at. Anyway, those projects are connected to this site and in case the message wasn’t clear, I want to stay away from anything related to this place (that doesn’t include lifetime friends I’ve made here to be clear). I think Doomfluff has finished packing up all our crap. Time to go. I’m sorry for most of this journal sounding dark and gloomy, but I can assure you that I’m feeling much better as I draw close to ending this final journal. I feel optimistic and hope that things work out better on my new web domain. To finish this off, I’ll say some goodbyes to some close friends…

Loni, I hope everything works out for you. You deserve so much and most days I wish I could give you that. Stay strong, thanks for being like a sister to me. I love you so much and remember: “What goes around, comes around” justice shall be yours for I am a banana. Wait…

Milky, you are a lovely, talented lady and I hope you get noticed more in the world of art. I’ve always admired your mastery of the female form and I can only dream of obtaining that level of detail. Keep doing what you do. I’m sure you’ll get what you desire most. I believe you can reach your goals in life.

Serena, you are such a fun person to talk to. You are like a breath of fresh air and you know just how to make a person smile. I feel bad for not talking to you much these days. We must have another chat someday and geek out about our Kaioshin fangirl days. Fingers crossed for you all the way girl.

Fox, although I’ve only known you for a few months, our skype conversations make me feel like we’ve known each other much longer. You know how to make me laugh and you are one smooth character, heh. Remember, do what you feel is right for you. Many good luck hugs for you hun.

Kate, you also know how to make me laugh. That might have something to do with you tickling me, but I’m just speculating. Ha, ha! You are so much fun to talk to and I hope you have many good times ahead. Keep on drawing too. Love you… now… could you keep T away from me please? Meep…

Angelcrusher, I hope your name never becomes literal (I couldn’t help myself there). I feel guilty for backing out of all the chances I had to talk to you. As your popularity rose, I figured you could do without some fool like me babbling nonsense when you have work to do. I’m amazed how much your styles have improved and I can proudly say that I was there when you started posting on DA. May your future be fruitful!

Starko, I’m not sure if you’ll read this, but I just want to let you know I’m sorry I’ve not talked to you in a long time. I’ve always enjoyed our conversations and would like to get to know you better now that I’ve sorted things out. I think you are fun guy and I hope your writing gets more attention too.

Shadowdragonsphinx, I hope you continue to work hard because I really think you have the potential to do something amazing with your unique style. I still find it funny that I inspired you especially since I look up to you. I hope we can keep in touch via email.

To everyone else including my watchers (sorry, this journal is long enough as it is to add any more personal shouts) I hope you can get what you can out of life and remember to stay positive. Thanks for all your support and help over the years.

And that’s all she wrote folks. For some of you this isn’t goodbye forever. I will be keeping contact with close friends I’ve met here. I’ve had a long run here. It has been interesting, but like I’ve said before, I’m a little tired and I think it is time to move on. Wish me luck. Good luck to you all, adios.

This is Mags, signing out for the last time.

PS: I'll be unwatching everybody so if I do have to log in someday in the future (hopefully that will be unlikley) I won't be bombared with thousands of messages. The only time I'm happy to see an empty message box. Funny that.

EDIT- Gallery deletion complete! Only giftart and stuff I did for contests remain. I'm not bothering with my scraps.